so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
