The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
being pregnant is like rehab
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
