I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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