What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
