i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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