It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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