the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
