Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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