He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
