I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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