I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
