You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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