so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
