You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
