how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
