Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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