he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
