Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
