i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
