She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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