Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
