Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
