Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
