Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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