Apparently you make a good broom.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
