i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
