Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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