I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
