i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The struggles of a small town man whore
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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