oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
