FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
