Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
