One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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