can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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