In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
