WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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