There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
