Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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