Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
