Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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