I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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