he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
