I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
