when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
