RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
