Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
