My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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