She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
