Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
