good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
