Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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