..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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