i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
When are your genitals available?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
