I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You made out with two different species that night
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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